Build a Fire slowly
What does that mean? Build a Fire refers to one of John Gray‘s 10 Secrets to Keeping the Passion Alive. I just love that audio book, I listen to it often and it was playing the other day and I was reminded about how men and women keep score differently in relationships. I think it’s so awesome that his daughter Lauren Gray is also into this subject and has posted 12 saucy (and realistic) ways to keep the passion alive.
It’s sorta like this. Men think that big actions give big points and small actions give small points. Women think that every action deserves the same amount of points. That is explained by the fact the men feel we should measure by strength, time and intensity and women think we should measure by inclusion and consideration. So, If you get a big raise or you buy a dozen roses, buy 1 daisy, leave a note on mirror,
take her to Hawaii or put the toilet seat down, those all score just one point which means you shouldn’t worry too much about the big things, those things that take a lot of energy to do but instead you should just focus on remembering that she loves the little things just as much.
For women, this means that you just need to remember that when he does a big thing for you like clean up the whole yard or take you on a vacation or vacuum and wash the whole car, he would love it if you made a big deal of it.
What does that mean?
It means that you build a fire by adding just a few logs at a time very often instead of building
a huge fire rarely. This will make your woman feel like you care about her and remind her of your consideration for her every time you add wood to the fire. To us men, it seems like a curious way of appreciating what we do for them, but she will confirm this for you.
In his audio book, 10 Secrets to Keeping the Passion Alive, John Gray talks about all the other tips such as going on a date night once a week, going on a mini-getaway once a month, eating out and other tips. You can find most of this in his boot Mars & Venus in the Bedroom.
I would love to hear about your success tips to keeping your passion alive in your relationship, please let me know by commenting below.
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