What do I mean by Caves and Wells?

Some of you may already know where Caves and Wells comes from as you may have read some of John Gray‘s books such as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. He is an amazing author who has done couple therapy for decades and from that wrote these books. See my authors page for a few books of his.

He is a master of metaphors and he explains one of the differences between men and women is what caves and wells is about.

Men go to their caves

He suggests that men need to go to their caves, which refers to the need to be left alone when a man is stressed and is trying to solve a problem and you can’t go follow a man in his cave because the dragon will come out and you may get burned. So the best thing to do is let the man go in his cave as he will come out when he is rejuvenated from having spent that time in his cave and be all loving and happy again.

Women go down their wells

He suggests that women need to go down a well when they are feeling overwhelmed, depressed or just feeling sadness or stress and we need to reach out to her by asking questions and telling her she’ll be okay but as she goes does down her well, we need to remember that even if we tell her we care how she feels or that things will be okay, she may still go further down her well. It’s that we can’t do anything to stop this natural process and we must just let it happen and not take it personally when we feel like she doesn’t hear our caring comments. What we need to remember is that she will automatically come back out of the well as rejuvenated when she processes all her feelings and she will be happy and loving again.

Caves and Wells

caves and wells

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So there you have it, caves and wells is about the different way men and women deal with stress. Knowing this will surely help you deal with the opposite sex.

Please post any questions or comments as well as how this tip helped you. I would love to hear your stories as I’m sure other readers would as
well.

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